I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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