Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
