i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
