How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
