i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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