come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
