you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
