Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You made out with two different species that night
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
