you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
