we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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