I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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