I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
