you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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