I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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