i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
