she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
the liver wants what the liver wants
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
