there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
