I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
