this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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