You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
