I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
