It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
