Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
