ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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