Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i believe in u and ur pee
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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