I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
