you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
