Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
