I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
