id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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