I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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