I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
