My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
