wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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