you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
