Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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