They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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