i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
