She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
