"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
