when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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