so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
