someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
