Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
