Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
