Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
