i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
