all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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