Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
