I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
