Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
