Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
