R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
