Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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