her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
