The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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