You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
