Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
